hi everybody that’s the most creative introduction of myself that I’ve heard catharsis equivalent my Raja Muda like the India muhurta I rather caffeine it’ll be cathartic he’ll tell you so quite a lot has been said and I feel very happy and proud that he will introduce me the way you have introduced me I need to take some tips on anchoring from you guys I tend to over anchor a lot so well TEDx has been a very inspiring thing in my individual life also.
I have seen so many of these TED talks and they’ve all been extremely inspiring I’ve learned so much applied so much have become a better version of myself and Here I am with my own people who’ve been here have been far more accomplished than I am people who’ve been here and used this stage like joke Raji Mr. Shah Rukh Khan III didn’t get your name the I just walked in during swim like some like such an inspiring speech you know even in terms of struggles and exposure people have heard so much but I have my own experiences and Here I am and like Joe garage, even a single one of you can get some inspiration out of it can change a degree of an area of your life.
I’d be extremely happy and it would have been fruitful coming here so I’m not prepared with the speech so if I go over and over with nonsense and incoherent stuff just stopped me ask me some random questions and I’m going to you know do what I have to do which is shut up so like I said not prepared so here goes nothing i-i’ve been thinking the bi-level backstage that what do I speak about and and when I was listening joke dodgy talk he had a lot of emphasis on thank you in life on gratitude so III I would like to speak about the two tools of my life and the first tool clearly because I have already mentioned it is gratitude the second tool okay so before I speak about the second tool let me speak to you about the people who inspired me from the creative space from the industry have been I’m 33 years old.
I’m a television actor and I come from Gurgaon it’s popular for many reasons not all of them are good but here I am and a lot of my conditioning has been because of this creative space the beautiful industry that I’m a part of and I’m very very proud of it there are many many many good things about being an actor you get a lot of attention you get a lot of love you get a got a lot of good wishes from people who don’t even know you you know they send you so much of prayer they send you so much of warmth and we are made because of that we are made because of what you send us and other than that also there are many things that we get you to know there’s them fact checks you know which I have not charged for coming here sir-sir and there are opportunities of meeting various kinds of people
people who’ve achieved a lot people who are striving to achieve a lot there are people who have given up completely but in all these people there are these various straights different kinds of conditioning that they share with you and this somehow contribute to your personality to shaping you up so let me first of all talk about the people who achieve a lot because these are the people we want to latch on to we want to have their stories we want to make it our own you want to latch onto their frequencies be like them you know there are so many great people in our industry so many of them and you know whether it is a Raj Kapoor or guru death or Dev Anand or Shahrukh Khan or Ranbir Kapoor in the present times you know they’ve all been there and then you even the people that you don’t meet even internationally speaking like Martin Scorsese or Christopher Nolan so many great filmmakers Daniel day-lewis so many great actors you know so even the people that you don’t actively get to meet you get to sample their work you get to see them on screen the films that they have made the films
that they have acted in and whenever you try to eavesdrop into their mind whenever you try to look at how they are thinking you realize that there’s one thing that’s common amongst all of them and that is madness its delusion so is it getting a little complicated so that I simplify it a bit so when Shahrukh Khan looked at the Mumbai city advanced and said that one day I’m going to own the city that was delusion I’m sure there was a second guy standing right next to him he would have turned around and said hallelujah to the Maharaja there I guess he bought the garage Oh at some point of time hum subkey life making as a moment author is upon kuch kehta and that ping is deluge enough for somebody else to turn around and look at us and say where are the Makarov Oh get the river skinny am I right I am right so it must have happened in all our limited exposures to life
I’m not much older than you at least I’d like to believe that but at some point of time all of us and all great people in this world have had a vision which has exclusively been their own it’s not shared with anybody because not many people have believed in it it could be from the theory of relativity to now this theory of evolution to anything in the middle such is life so
the second tool of my life is a delusion
gratitude and delusion these are the two things I’m going to speak about I came to the kingdom of dreams the city of dreams you know Mumbai in 2001 to become an electronics and telecommunication engineer and I became an electronics and telecommunication engine I’m not very good at it Tokaido a bloke a telephone scanner Kohi problem host cell phones no he Pablo Mooji mother Amira busky questioning you know so but let me go back a little bit in time and so when I should have taken commerce because I will I was good enough for that I thought that I would also enjoy a lot of my friends I went ahead and I was delusional enough to take up science and then I was delusional enough to believe that I’ll be able to do well at it and I actually did well in science and then I was delusional enough to believe that I’d be able to compete with HSC students who had V better percentages than mine and 12 and I’d be able to get a seat in their College in their City and since
I was delusional enough I got that too that’s where I disconnected from my delusion for some time and I got into realism and then realism limited me because at that point of time it didn’t take me long enough to realize that this course is not for me because in the very first semester of four months into my engineering I failed in four out of my five papers so now you will not clap will you so four out of my five papers and the Dominos effect continued and in the subsequent semester also I failed in four out of my five papers and I landed up back in the city where I came from which workaround and a little bit about my father as he comes from village where there was no electricity until sometime back and he studied there I’m able to talk in English in front of all of you because he studied very very hard and he’s worked very hard and he talked took the position his time and then his son goes to another city all together you know takes the honor of his family with him and then fails their miserably you know falls flat on the face and comes back to a city
I select I just a picture of the curricular ki ki shaadi we Orellana Baba’s Vidya Tojo vo pressure Parivar aloo paratha jomama pupil pressure at the coach may I present my Baba Elliot and obviously it found its way to me also because I was constantly seeing it up to do particularly canopied you know an AUP Top Gear topped off you look a pop s rj q / hayley tiny you think I’m happy ah Sabha but chill okay just say your face fence riff type K so I had to listen to all these comments and because I was vulnerable because I was young very very impressionable a little thing like this pushed me to the edge and I contemplated suicide so at that point of time I wish that I was delusional enough for my future self to come to me and look me in the eye and say that oppa that three life Kaori value do you even know what’s going to happen to you you are going to be a TV actor do you know that you’re going to do so many good shows there gonna be some awards down the line you’re going to get married to the most beautiful woman in the world your life is going to transform completely if I was not realistic at that moment
I wouldn’t have committed the most shameful act of my life which was an attempt to end it well this moment passed thankfully I was a failure at that too so I came back home and as time passed I my then girlfriend introduced me to the philosophy of life that basically anchored me completely all of us I believe need a spiritual anchor for me it is Buddhism for you it could be something else but whenever you have a spiritual anchor it gives you a tremendous self-worth and when it gives you a tremendous self-worth you are able to look at not just yourself with a high amount of respect you are able to look at everybody with that same amount of respect now there’s a book called power freedom in grace and I read it and in that I read this code which somehow became the bedrock of my life that from where I stand infinity extends in all directions which makes me head of the universe but from where you stand also infinity exists in all directions which means that you are also the center of the universe from a space where I wanted to end my in my life
because I didn’t think that I was good enough I was here I was thinking that I was the protagonist of my story I was the hero and I looked at myself as the hero no matter how small the child is no matter how big I would always take it in my stride look at it in the eye and grab the bull by the horns there was this heroic nature in me which I came face-to-face with and I was very very proud of it that heroic nature kind of became addictive and so much so that I didn’t even want to do parallel lead roles in my shows I would only prove myself at the hero’s rule so time passed and I’ll try to pace it up a little bit like I said I’m not prepared with a speech so I am going to go all incoherent and I’m going to talk a lot of nonsense so I’m sorry about that I hope I am NOT till this point of time though for the subsequent four years
I was in the industry I was doing a lot of shows but somehow even no matter how hard I was working in those shows they never had any eyeballs sometimes they were not on a channel that was being viewed a lot sometimes dogmas architects Omega those are certainly just canals I heard him say come late so the readings of this over not that much hum located just at home are a family can very Americana and liquid should tea bachelor gamakichi I should all be eating a majority so so but I I don’t think I have worked hard and even jamai Raja to you know as compared to that but nonetheless from 2004 until 2010 I continued working but until 2010 despite being a part of the industry that I am and into the internet being at it absolute apex whenever
I used to talk Thai for a visa way in Google Gilette Dubey husband used to turn up so basically mother bit obviously it works it troubles you a little bit that you know there’s nobody watching you’re working hard but there’s nobody looking at it, after all, we are in a business off let me put it in black and white let me call a spade a spade we are in a business of vanity we like being looked at we love that and we thrive on that you know when if you stop looking at us we are nothing we are nobody we perish you know whether it is fewer ratings or less business of a Bollywood film it’s one and the same it all you you’re the nucleus of it all and if you shut your eyes we are nothing and at that point of time I was nothing then I reflected back I told myself somehow there is something great in these lower last four years that has actually happened and I kept telling myself even though
I couldn’t see what that great thing was so I was delusional enough at that point of time to believe that there was something good in all these four years of me working hard not turning a lot of money not being on Google not being on internet not being on Twitter or Facebook but still there is something great so when I look back I realized that all my faults as an actor till this point of time are not exposed I am getting paid a very handsome amount to do what I’m doing and that is basically just training myself and polishing myself as an actor so that when people get to see me they don’t see me as a failure that I was they see me as a success that I am today second thing my self-worth with every scene would climb up and continue climbing up till the time it filled myself with a sense of joy about being myself the third thing and the most important thing it was during this time if I wasn’t if I was happy with the way my career was going if I was happy with the way my shows were shaping up I would not have done the show in which I found my wife so I found Sargon and I did a parallel lead role because somewhere
I was I I thought that this is the right thing to do to cure yourself with any earthly present mentally Gotham I just had 1 million hours Chabad I think she’s an I think he’s a lucky happy life Marathi epic is not Billy Kathy or so merry life he likes me merry Sargon Ian you know once she came into my life completely transformed and all these moments from my past am i how many minutes am i done with here get me over at Haruko new enemy couple thousand I’m going on and on I’m ranting I don’t know why so so so after she has come into my life there has been a dramatic change in my life and all these moments from the time I have been born until now have come together and formed this moment where I can confidently speak to you about being happy about Who I am so everything was now surfacing from this space of delusion even if there is no money in the account I would not do the projects that I don’t believe in even if the biggest of the producers are offering me stuff that they think is great for me and they really think that you know this is the this is one day we are doing him a favor by you know offering him this you know
I would not do it because somehow I would not believe in it television industry is hugely dominated by women no offense meant to thank you to you guys because if you wouldn’t be watching this massive industry would not have been there ordering third order was got a pager employment your arch television industry key-value seven annuity thank you for the women audience but I was very clear that I wanted to do a show in which I was the hero I was the protagonist not just the lead there’s a difference in the television space most heroes are leads of the show, not the protagonist
I was clear of the content I wanted to attach myself with they were close to 40 producers who spoke with me after naturally you all have seen naturally me and my wife in it so after naturally I did not do any fiction show the friction show that I did before that was husband assessor all I hope some of you have seen that also I was very proud of that show also because it was creatively a lot of lot in sync with that show so after naturally there were so many producers that came to me and said that you know this is a great show the money was great it was huge as compared to what I had been charging to that point of time but that was somehow not driving me and clearly at that point of time that I don’t have a fat bank balance that you know I could just do anything
I wanted and said yeah my guru Orion Ingram wise he was neatly you know so so I remember going to them I remember there was a time when I went all the way from town if you’re familiar with Mumbai from Colaba until Saki naka to go to a producer and said that I’m really sorry but I cannot do a show so she kept looking at me for a long time and said that I use certain that you don’t want to do it you haven’t done a fiction show in a very long time I was like yes ma’am I’m certain that I don’t want to do it but why is that we are offering you so much money and we we know what you were charging before this and this is many times more Monica Burton am i I want to do a show in which I am the hero so you mean that you want to do a show in which you are the lead then you know you are the protagonist yes ma’am I want to do that and she was like you know as much as I would like to see you doing that there’s a certain pattern with which the industry operates you have to be delusional enough believe that you can have a show in which you are the protagonist and that was just about all that I needed to hear cut to seven months later there was a show which was being made on one of the channels that I had worked with previously and they called me absolutely out of nowhere for an audition I happened to be free if I would have taken any of those projects you know
I would not have been able to go for the look test also for that show but they called me and I ended up doing a show which was absolutely a male protagonist show not just that it became a pioneer for many other male protagonists shows to come and I’m very proud of that the show’s name is my Raja, in fact, the show has just been launched in Indonesia and it’s being launched in Germany it’s being launched in West Bengal it has been remade by the name of jamai Raja in with different characters it’s being today in the morning we saw a trailer it will it’s being launched on an Arabic channel dubbed in Arabic and everywhere it seems to be getting the respect that we invested the kind of positivity and happiness we invested in the show their show not only saw the light of the day in an industry where there is a strong point of view that only women centric shows work not only did to see the light of the day it also became the fourth-highest opener pan India during that time it had a beautiful run for clothes – it had a beautiful run for close to three years and so I might under the eternal down to the 18 minutes cab bath career seriously yet the math I already thought of a so all right so clearly
I have overshot my time so I have I still have a lot to say I don’t believe it so I should come to come to these talks completely unprepared because I have more to speak so I’m going to cut the professional journey short and I’m going to come straight to the end at all times in our life we are faced with this choice limited realism or in finite delusion healthy delusion our destiny as we say it only determines our past because we can’t do anything about it it determines our present to some extent because we can’t do much about it but it cannot determine our future because the future is a space of infinite possibilities can happen right now there’s a spaceship that can land right here in the center of this auditorium we don’t know that because the next second has yet not happened so the future is an imaginative space your memory can take you into your past your five senses can make you perceive the present but your imagination manufactures the future so before I go I want to give you all a little homework find the most delusional version of yourself the highest version of yourself that you can imagine look at yourself learning the maximum amount of money being the best sons being the best daughters being the best husband’s the best wives and the best professionals you can imagine a kid start your delusion thank you very much.